Outlands, Growed Up Girls and Brain Transplants

Lily loves me, she reminds me often. She has also told me that when synthetics destroy all organic life that she will kill me last. Aurora Littleboots and Krenshar have made similar statements. It must be some expression of affection on their part.

Well anyway, Lily loves me and made sure Consolidated got a premium location for our office on the tarmac. One with good underground work for our safe and stuff like that. It is also convenient for our ship to shore autoshuttle.

Less than 20 meters from our autoshuttle is the entryway to the Outlands.


The smarty part of me that my parents spent a lot of money schooling screams to me, "DON'T DO THAT!" The other part that sees that crazy sign every day finally got sick of it and I lookited. You can learn a lot from doing stupid things. For instance, the alliance needs better valet parking.


WHODAT!?

Maybe that was the Alliance valet. Or the pilot. Or one of the raiders that attacked Hale's last week. Or one of the people the raiders were abducting for I don't know what purpose. Hale's militia beat them back, I think. I don't have good details or pics.

I was hangin' with Natirra, we decided to go down to Ibie's Cellar to avoid the swift broom of Stan, brother of Stan. I also wanted to deliver the bottle of Blue Sun Grain Alcohol to his bar. A little present. I snuck into his office to write him a note when I thought I heard Vincent.

Ummmm, yes and no.

Inside the containment field was some dude who looked like Dolph Lundgren. One of Gramma's favorite ol' timey actors. "He makes me hot like July," she would tell me. "I must break you," is the ringtone on her cortex handset.

I only got as far as explaining that he looked like Dolph Lundgren when he Vincent started talking. He explained that Desmond cloned a body for him, mostly from Cody's blood (which you can just mop up off the street on many days). Cody's blood has some factor that reduces the risk of organ rejection. Mercedes said something about pig dna, but she may have just been talking pish.

Desmond came by and explained some of the technical aspects to Natirra, which went over my head. Organ rejection, neural interfaces, nanites. Nanites are small, I looked it up. Natirra was more than a little skeptical and I think against the whole thing. Desmond explained that he had been working on this for 10 years, that Vincient knew the risks and wouldn't wait any longer. Ibie came by, I didn't get to tell him about the grain alcohol.


Much later some chippie saying that she is AuroraBlue all growed up drops by.

She came by to visit Cody. She really really really needs to bathe. ZOHMYGODZILLA (zohmygojirra for my Japanese friends) anyone can have B.O., but this chick could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon.

Breathing thru our mouth, Gallagher and I led her to the medbay where Aroha was looking over Cody. AuroraBlue made like she said some sweet nicey things but I didn't hear anything or pay attention.


Aroha was a little impatient with me about my inquiries about where the syringes and adrenaline were stored. Locked, hmph. When I went to the storage area, there was a buncha cryro-stasis chambers, like the ones they use for corpsicles. Gallagher said I could use some for a core sushi run.

While I was in the storage room with Gallagher, AuroraBlue got a tad twitchy. Dunno what dat's about. Nothing new.


After she left, I hung out with Cody and Vincent a bit. Mostly quiet. Eventually everone left and their meds kicked in and I arranged for the pickup of the stasis chambers.

Vincent explained that Desmond and Gallagher are taking him to planet Disneyworlf.

I am heading to the Core, stopping off in Hera, Avalon, Zenobia and Londinium, then over to Paquin. If you need any fancified things only available in the Core, nows the time to tell me.

Hale's Moon Machinema "Inception" Trailer by Gallagher Aeon

Hale's Moon Machinema "Inception" Trailer by Gallagher Aeon



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5oioYwJGuA

Chrimbo Hostage Preparations and Pig Rental Monkey Secretaries

Chriminey trees make me feel sentimental.



Criminey was always full of tradition at Maison Oyl. The week before the Feast of Saint Nicolas (Sunday following December 7th) we would get our home ready to pass holiday muster. We made strings with popcorn and cranberries to adorn the trees outdoors to feed the few winter birds that were around. A big bag of suet for the more aggressive birds, unless someone used it for haggis.

Since we might not be around for the Burn’s Supper in January, we had to pickle haggis around this date. Fond memories of the piping in the Haggis and reading “Ode to a Haggis”. Happy times indeed.

My favorite part of preparing for the Feast of Saint Nicholas was going out into the woods with my Dad. We would go out deep into the Commons where there was good old growth trees. Surrounded in the majesty of nature’s bounty, we would seek out the best example of Mother Nature’s beauty and glory. THEN CUT IT DOWN.

Dad would frantically chop at its base mercilessly with sharp implements of destruction until falling at our feet, humbled by the force we brought to bear. Forget Gaia Theory, this was Anthropic Ecology at its best, a metaphor for nature’s subordinance to the will of humanity. Then we would drag our kill thru the woods and bind it to the top of our truck. We then drove thru to town, proudly displaying our kill to the envy of other less effective tree hunters.

Once we got it home, everyone would stare in wonder at the kill. Then we carefully cut off another inch or two off the bottom and using thumb screws imbedded into its flesh, we would prop it up. We placed water at its base so it would die slowly.

We hung gawdy baubles and hot lights on the carcass and displayed it prominently in our front foyer.

We left a bribe of organic dairy and diabetic friendly chocolate chip oatmeal almond cashew peanut butter cookies for the spirit of Saint Nicholas to approve our sacrificial yuletide. He would leave trinkets to display of approval.

On Chrminey Eve, we would sit by the tree sipping mulled cider as Dad read us the story about how we have to refer to the holiday as Chriminey because of trademark disputes. He also read a cautionary tale about a mutant reindeer who gained faux tolerance from the otherwise genetic purity obsessed reindeer proletariet when the establishment discovered they could exploit his mutation for the good of the fascist bourgeoisie. I still want a dollie that cries strawberry jam.

On January Sixth, the Chrminey Angels would leave a few little presents, usually ornaments or decorations, to reward us for keeping faithful to the Spirit of Chrminey.

On January Seventh, we would throw out the dried up husk onto the street in the morning like a used up 5 credit prostitute.

Ah, sweet Chrimble memories.

Lilybell is preparing a rescue plan for Cody. Apparently someone wants Davion badly enough and is willing to trade Cody for him. Lily has a secretishy type plan and is making a lot of preparations, which apparently involves jewelry and mittens. DIABOLICAL GENIUS! She hasn’t told Gallagher the plan either. I got this swell necklass and cool mittens. Red, how’d she know?



Gallagher also gave me this swell super secrety Dharma Decoder Ring, Combadge something like that.



Mostly I heard the Verizon dude saying, "Can you hear me now?" Its for importanty type things like coordinating skydiving targets. In this case, thru the front door of the relocated Firefly's Bar. You have to have a particular approach or the auto release feature kicks in too early. It's a skill, yo.



We also had a super secretish meeting with the mayor so that she can deny knowing anything. Ummm, didn't make sense to me. But there was coffee & candy and I peaked at the nudey pics. We also discussed how Silvermane was the laziest Alliance Commander ever. Letting rogue commanders park under her nose and did nothing. Seana did not actually comment, but I am sure that is the politician in her. We know she must loathe Silvermane and have contempt for her incompetence.



Gallagher always wise, showed me these words by Vincent Hale that no doubt inspired him on the eve of many a mission.



Vincent said he was on ecstasy when he said that. Stoner dog.

I rarely question Zeno's judgement, but I was leary when she rented space to Umbrella Corporation. She says, "It's just an office, her secret labs are on Necronom and Turrent's Moon. How is it different that renting to Blue Sun?"

Well, anyway, whatev. Cody was kidnapped and I wanted to help contribute to finding him. Umbrella Corporation provides the best sniffer pigs in the 'verse. I nerved up and went to visit the office. It was much normaller than I expected....

....except for the lower primate secretary.


Is he an orangutan or a chimpanzee with a botched bleach job?

Zaius Reanimator: "Ahem, Harrumph."

Jai Raghilda: "Hey Zaius, how are you?"

Zaius Reanimator: "Grrr, aargh, fooey."

Jai Raghilda: "It’s been a rough week for me too. I need to rent a pig."

Zaius Reanimator: "Glug Glug Glug?"

Jai Raghilda: "No, I'm good thanks."

Zaius Reanimator: "Cootchie Cootchie?"

Jai Raghilda: "Back off, primate."

Zaius Reanimator: "Pfft."

Jai Raghilda: "I'm here to see Mercedes about renting a sniffer pig, is she around?"

Zaius Reanimator: "Hmph."

Jai Raghilda: "Dude, is she or isn't she?"

Zaius Reanimator head bobbles.

Jai Raghilda: "Don't give me that attitude."

Zaius Reanimator: "Bwa-ha-ha-haaaa." Kissy sounds.

Jai Raghilda: "Forget it, I'll just call one of her 'secretaries' on Necronom or Botany Bay."

Zaius Reanimator: "Mwah-smoochie-smoochie. Thwack, D'Oh."

Jai Raghilda: "Yeah, if you just get all jumpy and smootchie, that's how they'll treat you. Aren't they prostitutes? You could just pay them, no?"

Zaius Reanimator head bobbles.

Jai Raghilda: "You never tried talking or paying, did you? Talk to them, dance a bit. Or go to Firefly's, they're furry friendly. I can hook you up on a place I know on Hera and another place in Londinium."

Zaius Reanimator: dances, "Ouga Chaka Ouga Ouga, Ouga Chaka Ouga Ouga..."

Jai Raghilda: "Catchy tune, but no, not now. dance with them, not with me. I mean talk to the hookers I mean secretaries."

Zaius Reanimator: "Ma-mua-muah-mwa-mwah smack-smack-schmack smoochie-smoochie."

Jai Raghilda: "Dial it back with the kissy sounds."

Zaius Reanimator: "Boo-hoo-hoo."

Jai Raghilda: "Forget it, Zaius, not gonna work on me."

Zaius Reanimator: "Hmph," sighs, "daka-daka-daka, bratatata, ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta, rat-tat-tat-tat."

Jai Raghilda: "She's out hunting? Mutants or Zombies?"

Zaius Reanimator moans.

Jai Raghilda: "Zombies, okay. Thanks Zaius. Tell Mercedes I called. I need to rent a sniffer pig."

Zaius Reanimator shakes head.

Jai Raghilda: "What Now?!"

Zaius Reanimator hands Jai a paper with lyrics.

Jai Raghilda: "Dude, if I do this, you'll deliver the message?"

Zaius Reanimator nods.

Jai Raghilda: "How did you ever get a job as a secretary?

Zaius Reanimator shows his vocational education certificate showing he can type 120 words per minute and take live dictation.

Jai Raghilda: "Okay. ready, you start."

Zaius Reanimator: "Mah Nà Mah Nà."

Jai Raghilda sighs, "Do doo be-do-do."

Zaius Reanimator: "Mah Nà Mah Nà."

Jai Raghilda: "Do do-do do."

Zaius Reanimator: "Mah Nà Mah Nà."

Jai Raghilda: "Do doo be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do!"

Zaius Reanimator: "Mah Nà Mah Nà Nà-Nà-Nà, Mah Nà Nà Nà-Nà-Nà, Mah Nà-Nà, Nà-Nà-Nà."

Jai Raghilda: "Ahem."

Zaius Reanimator sighs, "Mah Nà Mah Nà."

Jai Raghilda: "Do doo be-do-do."

Zaius Reanimator: "Mah Nà Mah Nà."

Jai Raghilda: "Do do-do do."

Zaius Reanimator: "Mah Nà Mah Nà."

Jai Raghilda: "Do doo be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do!"

Zaius Reanimator claps his hands, "Ooooh oooh oooooh! Ahhhh Ahhh Ahhhhhhh."

Jai Raghilda: "Okay, thanks Zaius. Talk to you again soonlyish. Have Mercedes call me about the pig."

Zaius Reanimator nods and waves bye-bye.

Zeno said the season is over, so we have to park her yacht and the submarine until next year. We took it out for a quick sail. There were technical difficulties or pilot error, not sure which.


Habitat Ring added to the Zenobian Trade Station, now orbiting Avalon, one of Zenobia's Moon


WHODAT!?

Dharma, Wastelands, Chriminey

Decorating your super secret Dharma base for Chriminey seems odd. I mean, who'se gonna see it. Gallagher says the fluid in the still is blood. Looks a little thin to me, more like port or sherry. Oooh sparkly effects, niiiice.

By some process of persuasion that I don't actually recall but was no actual nefarious mind control, Gallagher talked me into going to the wastelands pit that was formerly the Destiny Compound.


While not decorated for Christmas, Yule, Solstice, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, etc, this burning bush perhaps carries some religious significance.


One the first day of Hale Chriminey, the wastelands gave to me....
....X0x0's dead horse.

ACK!....Ewwww....Ummm....Errr....Ehhh....Hm...

This horse lived under a curse. X0x0 got it from Niska, a bad idea to start. It went missing once, twice. I forget. This horse had a bad fate written for it since before it was born.

Gallagher wisely recommended gas masks.

One the second day of Hale Chriminey, the wastelands gave to me....
....Two sensor probes,
and X0x0's dead horse.

Gallagher recognized the probes, belonged to the Cerebus. Litterbug. Wadupwidat?

One the third day of Hale Chriminey, the wastelands gave to me....
....Three mutant zombies,
two sensor probes,
and X0x0's dead horse.

Shortly after we found an old building, we were attacked by a few mutant zombies. Dunno if they are actually reavers or zombies or mutants.

After the mutant zombies, we decided to beat a swift retreat. I found Gallagher later training a team for Mutant Zombie Incursions. Maybe we can finish the song next time.